burning questions

[metaphorge]

[Poll #852220]

Comments

[chuck-lw.livejournal.com]

Any ball-oriented sport that wasn't originally played with a severed human head has been successfully eliminated by the secret societies throughout the ages.

Of course, the use of severed heads has now been silently outlawed in the sports that are still allowed to exist, and all knowledge that those sports once used severed heads has been quashed. It's thought that things are much more sinister that way.

A minor exception is curling. The "stones" used in that sport each contain the head of an infant.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

You may also wish to take into account *whose* severed head. It might be challenging to play a delicate sport with the severed head of someone you really wanted to smash.

The sport may have to be modified slightly to allow use of severed heads. For instance, if you modify baseball to something more like tee-ball or kickball rules, it's almost playable, whereas even a steroid queen is going to have trouble throwing and batting a severed head for more than ten yards or so. Protective gloves in beach volleyball will reduce the risk of injuries from the head's teeth or protruding spine. (And great for luaus - barbecue the rest of the Long Pig, and play volleyball with the head while you wait for dinner to cook!)

If you freeze the head quite solidly beforehand, it might be usable in ice sports; otherwise it will just stick to the ice and be annoying.

A robotic, animatronic head that swears and bites might be really entertaining for sport purposes as well.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

Actually, rugby historians maintain that the rugby ball was never a head; either an entire small animal, hog-tied, or the liver of a cow or sheep, were used until the sports' enthusiasts were intrudoced to elephants in the eighteen-hundreds. Since that time, rugby has been played with an elephant testicle; the home team was expected to provide a fresh ball, until elephant-ganging was banned along with elephant hunting when elephants became endangered. Preserved elephant testicles are now used, but many feel the sport has lost much of its allure; a suitable substitute has not been discovered.

[chuck-lw.livejournal.com]

I understand the use of the liver was rather short lived because some players kept taking bites out of it.

People were less inclined to take bites out of the elephant testicle, although there's still the occasional maniac willing to eat anything (even the preserved ones).

[chuck-lw.livejournal.com]

When you said "steroid queen" I couldn't help but get the idea that there was a weird sub-genre of drag queens out there.

Google helped me find a better definition, but the original thought is still there.:-P

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

Elephant hide is resistant to even the sharpened (few remaining) teeth of most rugby players, thus making it an ideal choice. In a good game, most players don't have time to seriously gnaw on the ball, especially with other rugby players to bite. (Also, the use of mouth guards these days has improved ball longevity.)

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

Moopsball.

[kagamiishi.livejournal.com]

Bowling with human heads is not "cliched"! Why the human head is a natural bowling ball! It's what human heads were made for!

I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fucking seconds, to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!

[drjon.livejournal.com]

The answers to your questions entirely depend upon whose head it is.

[iamsquid.livejournal.com]

...wait a minute, I didn't just vote for my own doom did I?

[sistermaryeris.livejournal.com]

How can theft of my intellectual property be BEATING the very creatures that I advocate for??

[riseorbleed.livejournal.com]

I would be willing to take up golfing if the severed human head of my choice were the ball.

[st-robadob.livejournal.com]

i just thought of another really good one

skeet or trap shooting

[sportwoman.livejournal.com]

Fie! Abomination!